Finding the Right Surrogate

So you’re considering building or growing your family via surrogacy. Great! But you have no idea how to find the right surrogate for you. The good news is, a reputable agency will help you with the process of matching with the right surrogate for you.

How Do Agencies Find the Perfect Match?

Matching surrogates and intended parents is both a science and an art. It takes skill, knowledge and no small amount of intuition. The surrogacy journey is an intense experience; it is intimate and emotional for both surrogates and intended parents. An agencies match specialists take special care in matchmaking. If you are married or unmarried, if you are a gay couple, if you live outside the United States—whatever your identity or situation, they will find the right surrogate for you.

What Happens During the Matching Process?

Once a surrogate has passed evaluations and screenings per the requirements of their agency, they are carefully matched with intended parents, based on compatibility in a multitude of critical areas such as: whether the surrogate would like to be matched with parents in the United States or abroad, whether they want to work with same sex parents, what their stance on termination is, and whether or not they are willing to transfer two embryos. And you will get to meet your matched surrogate before you decide—an agencies match specialists will schedule and facilitate a “match meeting” either in-person or via video, depending the agency you choose.

What Will Our Relationship Be Like With Our Surrogate?

What your relationship looks like will largely be up to you. Some intended parents want to stay in close contact with their surrogate, to be included in the pregnancy by getting regular updates from their surrogate, attending doctor visits, and so on. Some intended parents don’t want this much contact, and want only occasional updates, or may not be able to meet their surrogate until delivery.

There is a spectrum of intended parent/surrogate relationships, just as there is a spectrum of people. Your relationship will be unique to you. The main thing is that you agree on the type of relationship you want during the matching process, so that expectations are clear, and so that both you and your surrogate are completely comfortable with things. Be totally honest when asked what you want—do you want to stay in close contact? Do you need to feel included? Or, do you not want that much contact? The type of relationship you want will help determine the best match for you. Consider these things and share them with your agency.

What If Our Surrogate Backs Out?

This can be a common concern for intended parents—what if we find a surrogate who we think is perfect for us, but they back out? No one ever wants this to happen, but as with anything in life, sometimes circumstances beyond a person’s control can change a decision. First things first—because of pre-screening processes, this scenario is highly unlikely. But if that happens, don’t worry—a reputable agency will rematch you with a new surrogate.

Good Luck on Your Journey!

We hope this overview of finding the right surrogate has helped you understand how a reputable agency will assist you in the matching process of finding the right surrogate for you!